Things ARE Happening

I know it’s only been a month…. Wow… it’s only been a month, but I feel like a follow up to the vision is necessary. 

Step one: presentation – Check. I can present going out. I’ve updated the wardrobe a bit, and I’m definitely more confident in my overall presence. A lot of this was internal, only to be spruced up by a few external elements. I’m sure more will follow once I bring home the bacon. Time to burn some trashed red and khaki.  Why you ask??

Step two: job – CHECK!!!!! God has answered the previous posts question very quickly. Don’t move back to Phoenix. How does He tell me that, you ask? Ok, maybe you didn’t ask, but I will tell you anyways. He opened up every door possible to land a sweet job here in Tucson. Not just a job, a career. This is too good to pass up. All the signs are there. I always knew I would be released from my current job without having to sever ties. He told me that during the first remodel. I just had a hard time listening, or wanting to accept the waiting. Well, if having your store manager encouragingly say “I hope you get that position” and getting it the next day isn’t a release, I don’t know what is. 

I’m going to have to get a little dressed up for this. I am excited to go to work. I am excited to learn. I am confident I will own this. I am confident I will soar beyond this. However, this step is entirely necessary and I couldn’t be more ready to tackle this. 

Steps three and four: home – The first big step has been made. Knowing which location I will be calling home. Up until now, I have been reluctant to put down roots anywhere. Mentally, I am far more settled, so I can now reflect that through the rest of my life naturally.  Time to start saving up for a house. 

Step five: relationships – AWESOME!! I have been hanging out with friends and dong stuff almost every weekend, if not every day. Recovery is getting hard! Regardless if it is here or Phoenix, it’s been happening. I’ve found people! Let me stop trying to put my social life in a box and look at everything I have. Whether or not this lifestyle can go on forever or not is to be determined, but it’s going just fine now. It’s time to stop planning 18,000 steps ahead. Gosh, Nate!! All I know is February is filling up fast! 

Life is grand. Praise God!

Overthink This

So I have been pondering my own theories. I was nervous that I was going on a rampage of self satisfaction at all costs. This quickly leads to a materialistic view of life and a whole lot of debt. 

This is the exact opposite of another theory I have been fed time and time again. That theory is just wait on the Lord. Indefinitely....

In a moment of clarity, I have come to this conclusion:

Wait – be patient – but also be proactive.

Make your life happen – but be content until it does.

I will piggy back on some wise words given to me recently. God can’t steer a parked car. I have found that once I got moving, God let me know if it’s the right direction. If I am moving and resistance continues to occur, it’s probably a sign that it’s not right. However, you can’t know this until you get out there and try. 

If nothing gets in the way, including His word, it’s probably just fine. Period. God wants us to be happy. Stop thinking and be happy!!

My Weekend in Phoenix

Last weekend in Phoenix was the best weekend I have had in a very very long time. I was OUT. The vision I cast just a few short weeks ago came to reality. 

Now Lord, I seek confirmation to the question I never thought I would ask. Do I move back to Phoenix? Phoenix was exciting. People in Phoenix wanted to go out. People in Phoenix got together for dinner last minute and didn’t think a thing of it. People talked over dinner. People in Phoenix got up and danced.  This made me realize that the people I am looking for ARE out there. 

We saw new places. We went. 

I didn’t have time to go on Facebook. I had a project to work on at the house. I used my brain. I had fun. I got stuff done. I accomplished. I was energized. I encouraged others and received encouragement.  

After a few days of reflection, I realized what made this all possible. Nobody over thought anything. I am the king of over thinking EVERYTHING. Somehow the people I seem to have surrounded myself think about everything WAY too much. They rationalize their way out of a good time, a new experience, and adventure. (Side note: Bill Shaw is not to be included in this blanket statement). This is what leads to sitting at home on a Friday night watching reruns and wondering why where your life went. This is a scary thought to me. 

I’m not saying we don’t all need our down time. I know I do. However, when I want to go out, I want to go out. WITH PEOPLE. 

Opportunity in Phoenix seems to abound where I was blind before. Social. Intellectual. Mental. Physical. Relational. 

Here is where the cross check needs to come in. Does spiritual opportunity abound, or am I chasing a hollow, worldly dream. That really is up to me to decide, now that I answer my own question. I ALWAYS have a choice. I have a choice to sin there, or here.  So, if there is no reason not to go, do I go?? Am I released from here??? 

It sure did feel like my life started last weekend. Everything’s just darn alright.

The Harder I Try To Leave

The harder Tucson seems to be working to keep me here. 

I put in countless applications to places in Chicago. I go there and network. Never get a call back. I resolve to keep going, but get exhausted.

On a whim, I apply for an HR tech position here in Tucson. I thought it was in Phoenix, and was even finding pros in that scenario. Well, Tucson called me back. Right away. 

Then not much else happened for a while. This was hard because this was one of the first positions I was genuine excited about and confident in. Of course, I didn’t want to let it pass by either. Rather than obsess and stress over it, I tried with all my might to just let it be. I started having fun at work, working the opportunity into conversation periodically to demonstrate persistent interest, but not letting it consume me. I began to take pride in my work rather than focus on how much it sucks. This is my job now, let it be a great job now. 

This theme of living in the now seems to keep popping up, and I realized how little appreciation I show for all that I do have. It’s been humbling.  

I am blessed with a great job with the flexibility to go see my family almost any time I want.

I am blessed with a great HR who encourages me to do what is best for my development.

I am blessed with great friends who are encouraging me and loving me, who are sharing in my excitement. 

Well… tomorrow I interview for that same job, and there is an overwhelming peace that I am going to knock it out of the water and end up there.

I feel like the more I look, the more I already have what I am looking for. I still can’t figure out, however, what walls I am putting up that prevent me from seeing this. What lies do I keep telling myself that this isn’t good enough and there must be something better out there? Obviously God was trying to tell me something by not letting me run away.  I keep accidentally discovering roots and fertilizing them. God kept that feeling of dissolution there every time I thought about moving. My head told me it would work, but there was no tangible proof of that, in reality. Now if God told me to GO, and I didn’t because of my own unresolved issues, that would be disobedience. God already knew it was working right here. 

It seems like he’s telling me to stay until further notice. Further notice could be tomorrow, or ten years from now.  

Good thing there are airplanes and a new attitude toward air travel.

Attitude Toward Air Travel

My whole life taking a trip on a plane was built up to be this huge ordeal. We would talk about it for months. Think about it. Analyze it. Analyze it some more. Then wait for the right deal. Check with everybody who could possibly ever be involved and clear it with everyone.  If one little snag or one little reason to not take the trip comes up, the entire process starts over again. This sure does result in a lot of trips untaken.  How boring!!

Yes, obviously make sure you have the money to take the trip before you go.  Check to make sure the person you plan on staying with is actually home. From there, there’s not really much to it.

Get online and don’t spend more than 1 hour looking at prices. Figure out the best deal and schedule combination, make a decision, and click Purchase. Don’t look back.

Something came in up in Chicago that I want to go to. In the past I probably would have thought about how cool that would have been to go to and watched it go by. This time things are different. I sat down, figured out the finances and got on track. 5 days in Chicago with family is a heck of a lot more fun than 5 days here doing squat. Only going 5 days is better than not having gone. I would have spent that same money on crap here. I would have wasted that same 3 hours sitting on a plane sitting on Facebook here. 

It’s time I stop making excuses, stop dreaming, and start being a part of the moments that make life.

Chicago Auto Show here I come. Tickets booked today!

English Speaking Stylists are the Best

Since I’ve been in Tucson, I default to the nearby Supercuts or Great Clips for my haircuts. There’s nothing inherently wrong with these places. Was my hair shorter when I left than when I came in? Yes. Here’s the problem though.

Was the stylist someone who I’d never seen before and will never see again? Yes. 

Does the stylist have an indiscernible accent and a blank stare when you ask for their opinion about what would look good? Yes. 

The reason I am here and not still trying to cut my own hair in the bathroom is because I want someone who knows what they are doing to help me with my image. If I knew what I wanted I would figure out a way to cheap out and do it myself. 

I decide it’s time to find an actual hair stylist whose name I might remember and will ask for time and time again. This hairstylist will actually attempt to maintain pleasant conversation during the otherwise socially awkward 20 minutes. 

After almost no looking at all, I break down and decide to try this salon and barbershop that I run past all the time near Reid Park. 

I walked in and felt like I was in the movie Barbershop. I was definitely the only Caucasian person in the room. It was legit though.

We chatted. He looked more than once at my hair to see if it actually looked good. He challenged my order because I clearly had no idea what I was talking about.  Only moderate dissatisfaction with my previous salon selection was expressed in a humorously shameful tone. 

Now my hair looks bomb-diggity, and I can say a person cut my hair, not a place. In reality, it’s not the place doing the work, it is the PERSON. 

Get to know your people.

Purpose

Here’s where this blog is going from here.  This shall be a recollection of all things exciting and adventuresome. Therefore, I must have exciting and adventuresome experiences. This blog will be, in a sense, my personal accountability for the aforementioned vision. If I have nothing to post, I’ve probably regressed back to my hermit like state of staying in bed, watching TV on DVD, and wondering why my life isn’t better. 

This is also a tool to exercise appreciation and remind myself how good things really are. I don’t know about you, but I tend to get wrapped up in negative thought spirals. I want to be able to look back here and see the type of person I want to be around. I want to see that thriving, dynamic person in me.

Visionary

It’s time for a paradigm shift. It’s time to get out of the funk that was 2K11. Pastor Zane put it so poignantly at church this weekend. Living in the grave keeps you from the promise of tomorrow. I never realized how much I have been living in the grave. The grave of my own hurt and offense.

It’s all about perspective. He was so right when he said your life follows your thoughts. That inspired me to do some vision casting for the next chapter of my life. Vision that changes the way I see life. The way I see myself. 

Step one – presentation: I want my outward appearance to be a reflection of my core beliefs. I want to look like I took more than 2 seconds to get ready. I guess I need to take more than 2 seconds to get ready. I see myself in sharp clothes that fit. I see myself in shape. I will exude a bold yet refined attitude that says to the world here I am. I am confident and ready. I am not afraid. I will make a lasting impression. I will be comfortable in my own skin. 

Step two – job: Thankfully this is already in the works. God seems to have it more in the works than I did when I tried to take the reins this summer. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I just feel like God is calling me to do more. Without trying to sound boastful, I am intelligent. I know I can do more and I want to use the gifts He gave me. I find joy in the challenge. Before I was stuck in the thought process of “I need to be humble and grateful for the menial job I have.” The answer is yes – to both. I have realized I am never going to get ahead if I just sit and bitch about my current situation. But I am also not going to get out of it if I don’t do anything about it. Surely nobody else will. 

I see myself getting a little dressed up to go to work, because I am excited to be there and feel purposeful. I see myself having confidence in my abilities and my ability to learn. I see this job opening doors. Professionally. Financially. Relationally. Mentally. It already has. People are presenting me with opportunities with better pay and more challenges than I was originally seeking and presenting them as if they are attainable to me. Well by golly, they might be on to something. 

Step three –home: It’s a great situation with Aaron now. He can come with. I see myself in a home that affords me the opportunity to open up my home to others. Big parties with friends. Gathering together and breaking bread. My friends have been great, and I feel it’s time to give back. I see myself doing well enough in my career that I’m not barely making it (Thank You God for getting me this far). I see myself in a neighborhood where I can get to know my neighbors and have regular interaction. I see myself in a home I can really take ownership of, not confined by the limits of renting. I’m not saying I will be buying a home in 2012, but I see myself saving towards one. 

Step four (possibly 3.5): location. I see myself in a home in a neighborhood with some dynamic. I see myself in the local café or bar chatting with the staff and neighbors whom I’ve gotten to know by name. I see myself in a place where I can meet people in my place in life and build a solid social network with. I see myself in a city where people are invested in the community and are willing to patronize the local business as a part of everyday life. I see myself hanging out in places where I can enjoy beautiful days without hype. I see myself hanging out in places where people are excited about life, not entitled and upset. Chicago…Phoenix… even downtown Tucson. I see myself in a place where desperation is not the norm and people are living functional lives. I see myself in a place where civic pride means something. By civic pride, I do not mean opulence, but rather an attention to detail and general appreciation for the environment. It looks like people give a damn because they do. This place has a sense of place.  

Step five (no waiting necessary) – relationships: I already touched on this a bit earlier. I see myself in a solid social circle of people who are reliable and excited about life: people who want to “be out” and explore the world. We will have a local joint. We will practically live at each others’ houses. I see myself with people who want to take trips and do races. I see myself taking trips and doing races. Spontaneously. I see myself with people who don’t have to overanalyze and plan everything: people who just go with the flow and seize every opportunity.  I see myself with people who aren’t content just sitting around waiting for life to start. I see myself finding a partner to do life with, someone who shares my vision of getting out there and having some fun, dang nabbit. 

This is my vision. Let’s go.